what now Lord?

It has been just a short time since my life as I knew it, my "normal" life changed forever. It was May of 2007, memorial day, and as I packed to head to the casino for a day of spending money I didn't have, capped off with a facial and massage at the casino spa, a crippling pain, the feeling of a steak knife ripping down the entire length of the back of my leg sent me to the floor. I would never again be the same. As the pain consumed me, I only could yell, WHAT NOW LORD!?